A photo of a coffee table with tea and coffee products.
  • Tea Or Coffee

    Reading Time: 4 minutes    //    Word Count: 651 words

    Tea or Coffee

    This story will be short. There, finished… yeah!

    No, wait—I just want to share a few humorous observations about drinking beverages.

    I grew up in an English household, so needless to say, Mum and Dad were devoted tea drinkers. By the age of 15, I was consuming about four cups of black tea (with milk) per day. We all drank tea, but my brother Steve, a seasoned traveler, introduced us to the exotic… coffee.

    I don’t fully recall how he convinced me to try it, but there I was, sipping a hot beverage that tasted—let’s be honest—awful. So bad, in fact, that I’d use just a quarter of a teaspoon of coffee, add half a cup of milk, and top it off with boiling water. It took me six months to develop a taste for it. I think I was around 25 years old at the time.

    Eventually, I graduated to a full teaspoon of coffee, embracing the rich, bold flavor. Now, I considered myself a connoisseur—or so I thought. Before long, I was drinking more coffee than tea.

    Mr Doe and the Tea Bags

    One night, my friend Brett hosted a party at his parents’ house while they were away for the weekend. It was a decent-sized gathering—about 30 people.

    Now, in movies, they use the name “John Doe” for anonymous or unknown individuals, so let’s refer to the person making the hot beverages that night as Mr Doe. I wouldn’t want to single anyone out for ridicule…

    As the night wound down, Mr Doe decided it was time to wrap things up, offering everyone one last drink before they headed home. “Anyone for tea or coffee?” he asked, pen and paper in hand. Orders were placed, and off he went to the kitchen.

    An eternity passed. Still no coffee.

    Curious, I wandered into the kitchen and found Mr Doe mumbling under his breath, looking frustrated.

    “What’s wrong?” I asked.

    “This bloody tea won’t dissolve!” he grumbled.

    I looked down to see that he had torn open the tea bags and was stirring the loose leaves into the water, expecting them to dissolve like instant coffee.

    Clearly, not a tea drinker!

    Becoming a Coffee Enthusiast

    By the time I hit 40, I had transitioned entirely to barista-made coffee. Instant coffee was no longer good enough for me—I was a professional coffee drinker now.

    In fact, I started thinking, “Why rely on baristas when I can make my own?” After all, nothing beats a fresh cup of coffee at 5 a.m. My wife, Nitcha, likes a cuddle at that time of day, but sorry—nothing competes with the lure of fresh coffee!

    So, I went out and bought my first cheap espresso machine. The idea of grinding my own beans appealed to me, so I got a grinder as well. Over the years, I’ve experimented with many different coffee blends, but these days, I buy beans from three different suppliers to create my own signature blend.

    I love my coffee. It’s almost as good as the stuff from an award-winning barista operating a $20,000 machinealmost.

    Coffee on the Go

    Whenever we go away (excluding camping), my modest little espresso machine comes with me.

    On a recent trip to my mother’s house in Forster, I had the pleasure of making coffee for everyone. My brother (another Mr Doe) was there too, so I made three coffees in a row.

    You can imagine the orchestra of sounds: first, the grinder roaring to life, then the low hum of the brewing process, and finally, the high-pitched whir of the milk wand.

    At last, I sat down to enjoy my own cup. I turned to Mr Doe and asked, “How’s your coffee?”

    He took a sip, sighed with satisfaction, and said,

    “Beauuutiful. This is better than Nescafé. What is it, Moccona?”

    Facepalm.

    And so, my friends…

    That’s how tea and coffee have shaped my life.

    Cheers! 

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